Bill Murray is divorcing

After 10 years of marriage, Bill Murray’s wife, Jennifer Butler Murray, has filed for divorce. Not only that, Jennifer accused Bill of “drug addiction, abandonment, adultery and physical abuse.” She also requested a restraining order to keep Bill off their Sullivan’s Island home.

According to their prenup, Bill will pay Jennifer $7 million. There will be no alimony and they will both remain responsible for their children.

According to the complaint, Jennifer Murray moved into a Sullivan’s Island home in 2006 with the couple’s four children due to her husband’s “adultery, addiction to marijuana and alcohol, abusive behavior, physical abuse, sexual addictions and frequent abandonment.”

It was at the Sullivan’s Island home, according to the complaint, that Murray allegedly abused his wife in November 2007. The six-page court filing says Murray “hit his wife in the face and then told her she was ‘lucky he didn’t kill her.’ “

In some tribes, biting someone’s face is considered a sign of affection. Then again, in these same tribes chopping off your arm with a machete is a rite of passage. Maybe this was all a misunderstanding. It could have been Bill was drunk and hungry and thought Jennifer was a donut. Donuts are yummy. You can’t really fault him for that. I mean, come on, look at the header photo. Is that the image of a drunken wife beater or is it simply a guy who doesn’t like to have to say the same thing twice?

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capt. cornhole
capt. cornhole
14 years ago

She doesn’t know that if you can’t swallow the Johnson and it’s love juice, you’re going to get some love taps across the face with it. Slapping a woman in the face with your cock is a sign of affection in every culture world-wide. Where-as lying on your bon-bon eating ass all day, in the lap of luxury, not sucking the old man’s cock, not making with the cornhole, and generally being a spoiled bitch is really the definition of abandonment. “Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.” And he says, “Oh,… Read more »