Damn you Derek Jeter

Minka Kelly

Derek Jeter has dated an impressive list of starlets throughout the years. He’s purported to have ran his penis through Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Vanessa Minnillo, Adriana Lima, Scarlett Johansson, Mariah Carey and Jordana Brewster and may have given each of them herpes, the gift that keeps on giving. Now, Page Six says Derek Jeter is tearing up Friday Night Lights star, Minka Kelly’s, vagina.

Though Kelly’s publicist put the kibosh on our query about a male suitor at the Empire (the rep told Page Six Kelly’s dad was the only guy with her in the hotel), OK! magazine reports the “Friday Night Lights” actress was wined and dined at Kobe Club by Jeter on Monday. “She’s still playing the field,” one source told us.

It’s not entirely clear why women continue to flock to Derek Jeter when there are rampant rumors about him and herpes. You’d think celebrities would be put off by that, but no, it seems they’re rather fascinated by sores on their lips and genitals which can last two to twenty one days. This must be a new Hollywood fad. Had I known this, I wouldn’t have chosen to remain chaste for all these years. Yea, that’s right, I’m virginal not because I’m socially inept or that women are creeped out when I ask them to role play my civil war porn fantasies, but because I CHOOSE to be.

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