Steven Tyler used the old “I just had foot surgery and the pain was intense so I needed to figure out how to deal with it” excuse for checking into rehab. He tells PEOPLE:
“The doctors told me the pain in my feet could be corrected but it would require a few surgeries over time,” Tyler says in a statement released Thursday. “The ‘foot repair’ pain was intense, greater than I’d anticipated. The months of rehabilitative care and the painful strain of physical therapy were traumatic. I really needed a safe environment to recuperate where I could shut off my phone and get back on my feet. Make no mistake, Aerosmith has no plans to stop rocking. There’s a new album to record, then another tour.”
I’ll tell Steven what I told that skateboarder with the broken femur. Walk it off you pussy. You’re not Kirsten Dunst. You don’t have to be a weirdo and make up excuses like you were depressed. I mean, were there even any foot problems? You expect people to believe at the age of, um, 90, that you’re still able to pull off “trademark athletic performances?” I guess if you call moving two steps to the right and tripping over yourself athleticism then yea. To me though, athleticism means pulling out of a girl and finishing off on her face then immediately diving out the window and somersaulting off the roof before her boyfriend opens the door. Sort of like a horny ninja.