Sex and the City over everything: <– *Shrieks with excitement* Er, I mean. *Stabs self in eyes* Yea, that’s it.
50 Cent is an attempted murderer?: A fire struck 50 Cent’s $1.4 million Dix Hills, NY house at around 5 a.m. this morning. 50 was out filming in Louisiana, but his ex, Shaniqua Tompkins, and 10-year-old were still home. The two were taken to the hospital for smoke inhalation. The fire department classified the blaze “highly suspicious.” Shaniqua says someone broke into the house at 4 a.m., shortly before the fire started and that 50 is trying to kill her and is obsessed with her. She basically comes off as a lunatic. In other words, just your average woman.
SarahJessicaParkerLooksLikeAHorse: Hey, what did that horse ever to do you, buddy?
Kimbo is fighting on national tv: MMA is making history tomorrow as EliteXC will be the first ever MMA event to be broadcast on national television (CBS). Unfortunately, headlining tomorrow’s card is Kimbo Slice, a street fighter turned professional athlete who is yet unproven and who some feel has not earned his way to main event status. Regardless, Kimbo is what draws in the casual viewer which in turn guarantees better ratings. Meanwhile, American Gladiator/MMA poster girl Gina Carano failed to make weight for the fourth consecutive time. She was 3.5 pounds over the limit. Haha, fatty. Just kidding. Please, don’t hurt me.
The Rest of the Web, Friday, 4.28.17
Sign Me Up for This Napping Fitness Class
Beyoncé Ordering Food Has Turned into a Meme
Kids Who Want to Waste Thousands of Dollars Studying a Fake ‘Game of Thrones’ Language Are in Luck
Jennifer Lawrence Is Totally Marrying Darren Aronofsky This Summer
Katy Perry’s New Song Empowers Women To Have Food Sex or Something
Ja Rule’s $12,000 Ticket Music Festival Ends in ‘Lord of the Flies’ Nightmare With Kidnapping and Mugging Rumors
Obama’s First Joke About Trump Was Perfect
Rita Ora’s Gonna Regret This Outfit One Day
It’s Kylie Jenner’s Soulless Dead Eyes…And Her Sexy Midriff!
Kendall Jenner Gets Camera Shy Which Is Really Ironic
R. Kelly Sued for Nailing Sheriff Deputy’s Wife and Giving Her Chlamydia