David Beckham is a dick, maybe

David Beckham

Jeanne Kelly and her sister, Diane, both bid $7,000 at a Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy charity auction for their sons to have a meet-and-greet with David Beckham. The package was supposed to include round trip flights to LA, hotel accommodations, VIP field seats at Friday’s Galaxy game and the chance for their sons to meet David who was supposed to sign a jersey for them. On Tuesday, Kelly and her sister both received calls from Darren Brown from Charity Sports Auctions that the event was canceled because David had a breach of security and isn’t doing it anymore. Page Six explains:

Brown told us Charity Sports Auctions got the Beckham package from the LA-based entertainment group ACE. Max Soto, the president of ACE, told Page Six the event has just “been postponed,” adding, “It was never intended to be promoted on David alone. There were internal issues.”

Beckham’s agent, Jeff Raymond, says neither Beckham nor the Galaxy was even informed of the event and, “It’s unfortunate they lost their money. David would never not honor charity he was supposed to do.”

This is why I don’t donate to charities. Too much heartache. And that whole giving to those less fortunate thing. Plus, Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy? I’m not even sure how to pronounce that. Are you sure they didn’t just make it up? Maybe it’s worse than it sounds like Rhinovirus sounds menacing, but it’s just a cold. Can’t they walk it off? I mean, I’ve stubbed my toe on more than one occasion. It hurt a lot, but no one donated to my Hurt Toe Foundation.

On an unrelated note, people say I have a lump of coal for a heart, but I like to believe I never had one to begin with.

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