Uwe Boll sucks

Last Friday, acclaimed director Uwe Boll held a free screening of his new movie Postal at Pier A Park. 200 people attended the screening and 150 eventually walked out before it ended. The remaining 50 were immobilized by either disgust or a profound sadness upon realizing they wasted 100 minutes of a perfectly good Friday night to be thrown into an abyss of retardation. Not even Mat Levy aka Cheezy from I Love New York enjoyed it and that’s saying a lot. That dude would enjoy watching a monkey flinging poo which, coincidentally, is how Uwe Boll makes his movies.

The last straw for Levy was a scene in which two terrorists hijack a plane in a 9/11-style attack, but then decide to abandon the suicide mission and fly to the Bahamas instead – only to wind up crashing into a building after the passengers storm the cockpit.

Mayor David Roberts, citing the same scene, refused to attend Friday night’s premiere.

“I did not like Uwe Boll’s perception of 9/11,” Levy said.

“It’s too soon to mock a plane going into the World Trade Center. Do you not think there are families out there that had their loved ones killed on 9/11? It really upsets me that he couldn’t care less.”

Uwe Boll said this is what he was aiming for as Postal is meant to be thought provoking. Ooooh, I get it now.

Boll told’s Hoboken Now blog that he knows the movie will provoke people – that’s the point.

“We don’t spare any group. We don’t want to hurt anybody but we want to break the rules,” he said.

“We want to make people think: What is a taboo? We want to make people start thinking about their own boundaries and rules.”

“Being politically correct, let’s say, the big studios are kind of overdoing it,” he said. “I feel it is time now to make a really wild movie, something over the top.”

For Uwe’s next movie, I have a fantastic idea for him and it’s able to completed in three easy steps. Step 1: Find the best camera he can afford and then buy the next expensive one after that. Step 2: Go to Sports Chalet or Sports Authority, buy an aluminum bat. Step 3: Smash camera into little pieces. Step 4 (optional, but highly encouraged): Die.

Note that according to IMDB, Postal also has a 130 minute director’s cut. May God have mercy on us all.

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laura loo
laura loo
15 years ago

it’ll be #1 at the box office.
remember Pink Panther had a big opening in 2006…
same genre of retards will be shoving popcorn in their mouths and hopefully choking to death while I sit here and choke on capt cornhole.