Blake Fielder-Civil might be retarded

Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse’s husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, made a miscalculated attempt to skirt jail time as he plead to a judge to set him free so he could be a “role model” for Amy. The judge thought for a second, nodded his head and sentenced him to 27 months in prison.

‘Knowing the nation’s glare is upon him, Mr Fielder-Civil has every possible motive to rehabilitate himself in the way he has already shown he is fully committed to doing. He knows if he fails, an appointment with calamity awaits, not just for himself but for his wife.

‘He can now see that hard drugs are to be regarded as nothing other than a smiling assassin. He wishes now to become a role model for Miss Winehouse but he knows it would be impossible for her to alienate herself from drugs if he continues to befriend them.’

I hope his only defense wasn’t him implying that Amy Winehouse is a national treasure and that he should be appointed the honorary guardian. Because that would be sort of embarrassing. And I also hope the judge didn’t laugh too hard when he handed out his sentence. I don’t want that poor man to get a stomach cramp or anything.

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