ESC

Contest: Garden Party t-shirt giveaway

Win a Garden Party t-shirt. I’ll be giving away 3 Medium and 3 Large (Men’s) t-shirts. They’re made by American Apparel. Not sure what Garden Party is? Me neither. The trailer is up top and the synopsis is as follows:

On the sleazier side of Sunset, teenage beauty APRIL (Willa Holland) has humble ambitions. She’s searching for a way to get by without taking off her clothes–any more than she already has. But the going is tough.

SALLY ST. CLAIR (Vinessa Shaw) is a realtor whose business has been built upon her sex appeal and secret past. Success has hardened Sally and rendered her disconnected, but it has given her a great eye for spotting lost souls in need of direction.

One such soul is her assistant, NATHAN (Alexander Cendese), who has moved to Los Angeles from Nebraska in search of fame as a dancer. Lacking drive and confidence, Nathan finds himself making late night photocopies for Sally and her clients.

TODD (Richard Gunn) is one of those prospective clients. A porn addicted artist in search of a way out of a sexless relationship and into an adventure, he’s happy to help Sally get revenge for some past indiscretions. In exchange, Sally helps Todd live out his fantasy.

Blazing his own path is SAMMY (Erik Scott Smith), a cunning, off the bus musician/street kid with his eyes on stardom. When Nathan meets SAMMY, Nathan sees a light at the end of the tunnel and maybe more than just a friend, while Sammy sees a much-needed roof over his head

When a local erotic photographer introduces April to Nathan, the dominoes fall on a series of chance encounters. And after everyone has met just about everyone else, each comes away changed in the strangest of ways.

Leave a comment below or email me with your best joke or if you’re like Wes, your hot girlfriend. 6 winners will be chosen to win the T-Shirt below. Contest ends next Tuesday, July 14.

Garden Party

  • Holly

    I like shirts.

  • Chau

    Three guys were captured by a cannibalistic tribe in the jungle. The tribal chief tells them to go out and each find 10 fruits of the same kind, bring it back and he might spare their lives. The first guy came back with 10 apples. The chief then tells him that if he can shove all 10 apples up his ass then his life will be spared. About mid way through, his asshole busted and he died a violent death. The second guy then came back with 10 grapes. The chief once again tell him that if he can shove all 10 grapes up his ass then his life will be spared. It went in one by one effortlessly. On the 9th one, he suddenly burst out laughing. The chief viewed this as being too disrespectful and killed him. As the second guy was waiting at heaven’s gate, St. Peter asked, “What happened? Your life will be spared for sure.” He replies, “cuz I saw the third guy coming back with melons”!

    (I read this from somewhere long ago, so credit goes to the original writer.)

  • bunny

    Obviously, read somewhere online:
    A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show in a small town in Arkansas.

    With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blond jokes when a blond woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:

    “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blond jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?

    What does the color of a person’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being?It’s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person.

    Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general…and all in the name of humor!”

    The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize,

    and the blonde yells,”You stay out of this mister! I’m talking to that little sh$* on your lap.

  • Chau

    From funny.com

    During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

    “Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”

    “Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”

    “No.” said the Director, “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”

  • Chau

    Another one from funny.com

    A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

    The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”

    The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

    “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

    Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

    The boy licked his cone and replied,”Because the day I take the dollar, the game’s over!”

  • Chau

    A man was laying in bed with his new girlfriend.

    After having great sex, she spent the next hour just stroking his penis, something she seemed to love to do.

    Enjoying it, he turned and asked her, ‘Why do you love doing that?’

    She replied, ‘Because I really miss mine.’

  • Chau

    Okay i know i’ve been posting a lot lately but this one is very funny

    I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me…It was her beautiful younger sister.

    My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

    One day her ‘little’ sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

    Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word.

    She said, ‘I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.’

    I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold,

    my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

    With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, ‘We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.’

    And the moral of this story is:

    Always keep your condoms in your car.

  • Chau

    Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.

    Each priest had a small bell attached to his dick, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage. Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest. He bent over to pick it up…

    …..then all the other bells started to ring.

Latest
Load more