J. Lo training for a triathlon

Jennifer Lopez

One of the steps to get her body back to where it was before she had her twins is to train for and participate in a triathlon.

Lopez’s training includes running, biking and swimming. Anthony says he’ll root her on from the sidelines: “I’m very supportive. I’ll be on my Segway (encouraging her).”

Jennifer should do what I do when I want to lose weight. Place my bag of chips just out of reach so I have to stretch to get it. I burn almost 100 calories at a time. At least, that’s what I tell myself as I struggle for breath trying to grab my fifth chip.

Really though, she’s not going to run this. She’s a diva. Jennifer will take two steps before she sits her ass on a motorized scooter or has her assistant push her in a wheelchair two feet before the finish line so she can pretend to jog through it.

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Bill Surman

Trump has dispatched 140 helicopters, 28 ships, 6 Army field hospitals, 3 Navy seabee battalions, 5 US Army Combat Engineer battalions, 3 Civil affairs battalions, 2 nuclear subs capable of generating 2.8 gigawatts of electricity, given 300,000 tons of food, medical supplies and water from military stocks to Puerto Rico. But yea, boo Trump. SMH, Fucking losers.

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