Nick Hogan doesn’t like jail

Nick Hogan recently turned 18 and for his birthday present, Pinellas County jail moved him out of solitary confinement into the general population. Surprisingly, Nick is happy about this.

“They had broken his spirit,” Brooke Hogan, 20, tells PEOPLE. “When they put him in solitary, he was on the outs. I was worried about him, and his safety, and his well-being.”

“We get to visit him three times a week like everybody else, but it sucks,” she says. “I can’t just walk over to his room and give him a hug, or talk to him, or confide in him. … At least he’s not locked in hell, basically. And his personality is slowly coming back. I bring that out of him.”

This is ironic because general population is where Nick will really feel his spirit being broken. Not only that, but his spirit will be passed around like a loose cigarette. Of course, by “spirit”, I mean “his asshole” and by “broken”, I mean “made into a vagina”. Brooke Hogan, however, thinks Nick can handle himself.

“He’s been threatened,” she says. “Thank God he’s big and he can hold his own.”

According to IMDB, Nick Hogan is 6’3”, a respectable height. But, also according to IMDB, his nick name is Nicky Noodle. I give him two weeks before the other inmates force him to take estrogen so he can grow bitch tits.

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