Jennifer Lopez wants you to pay attention to her

Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez filmed a segment for Good Morning America on Aug. 18 where she talked about her training for the Malibu Triathlon. Of course, after they finished taping, she couldn’t help but be a whiny bitch and complained about people paying more attention to Michael Phelps, who made Olympic history with eight gold medals, than to her running a triathlon. MSNBC says:

[Jennifer] was overheard saying after the segment that she “couldn’t understand why everyone is talking about that swimmer,” according to a GMA source. “She couldn’t come up with (eight-time gold-medal winner Michael) Phelps’ name, and then she yammered on about how she was the one training for a triathlon just six months after giving birth, and how that was the big story right now, not ‘the swimmer.’ ”

One only hopes that organizers employ spotters for the swimming portion of the race. I imagine she’ll be thrashing around in the ocean for a long time, swimming at an amazing pace of one foot every half hour and she’ll start drowning 35 minutes into it, only to have her buoyant ass save her.

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Bill Surman

Trump has dispatched 140 helicopters, 28 ships, 6 Army field hospitals, 3 Navy seabee battalions, 5 US Army Combat Engineer battalions, 3 Civil affairs battalions, 2 nuclear subs capable of generating 2.8 gigawatts of electricity, given 300,000 tons of food, medical supplies and water from military stocks to Puerto Rico. But yea, boo Trump. SMH, Fucking losers.

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