Paris Hilton is a big, lazy jerk

Paris Hilton has been been sued by the distributor of National Lampoon’s Pledge This! for failing to adequately promote the film. Paris was paid $1 million and made executive producer, but according to the suit, part of her contract required her to advertise it.

Oh, she starred in it alright, playing sorority queen Victoria English. But, per the lawsuit filed today in U.S. District Court in Miami, Hilton—who was also listed as an executive producer—owes $75,000 in damages for failing to provide “reasonable promotion and publicity” for the movie.

It’s not clear what the distributors were expecting. A viral marketing campaign rivaling that of The Dark Knight’s? Paris’ idea of film promotion is to stand on the red carpet, shove a banana down her throat and proclaim, “That’s hot.” That’s what she calls her “full service treatment.” I’d be surprised if she even remembers she was in a movie. I’m convinced she begins every day with only a rudimentary knowledge of life and must relearn basic things like why you can’t eat steak with a spoon and that breathing lets you not die.