Shia LaBeouf could be an amputee

As a result of his July 28th accident which injured his hand, Shia LaBeouf may have to amputate the pinkie on his left hand.

“Shia called producers yesterday and told them,” the source on the set in Alamogordo, N.M. says. “It’s really thrown the movie into turmoil.”

There are a few reasons not to believe this. For one, this won’t throw the Transformers movie into turmoil. There’s not going to be pinkie sex or any closeup of his pinkie. That would just be stupid.

Second, we aren’t in the 1700’s where they chop limbs off for no reason. We can clone sheep and dogs, grow viable human ears on the back of mice and perform double arm transplants. Shia should get a second opinion. Just because a guy wears a white coat and stethoscope doesn’t mean he’s a doctor. I learned that the hard way. Word of advice. When a “doctor” cups your balls for six minutes and juggles them around checking for “cancer”, you may want to be a little suspicious. My other doctor tells me he should be doing it for only five minutes.