The epic battle continues

Sometimes I get the feeling Michael Lohan doesn’t approve of Lindsay’s girlfriend Samantha Ronson. Case in point. Michael Lohan’s scathing e-mail to X17online where he calls Samantha “dark, hideous and a disgusting representation of humanity.”

“I don’t believe that the recent blogs posted by ‘Lindsay’ were written by her” and touted, “There is a lot more to Samantha than meets the eye. Not that what we see is so pleasing anyway . . . what’s with this ‘person?’ Look at the way she ‘dresses.’

“Once more, she uses her middle finger more than she uses words. Have you ever seen her apartment? For God’s sake, when she runs out of toilet paper she tells people to use the cardboard roll. (I was told this firsthand).”

Hey, when you’re out of TP you gotta do what you gotta do and if that means using a towel and rinsing it off in the tub, then so be it. Just don’t mention it at dinner. People are kind of uptight about it. Anyway, Lindsay responded to Michael’s letter.

“My father obviously needs to be on medication to control his moods. He is out of line and his words show how much anger he has, and it’s dangerous and scary as it reminds me of how he treated my mother and I my whole childhood. He needs to be stopped. This is yet another reason why we aren’t speaking.

“I am in a great place in life,” Lindsay continued. “I have overcome a lot and have been able to learn how to enjoy and appreciate my life in every way possible. I’m proud of myself for being able to make a change in the past year and a half.

“My past is behind me, and that’s final. There’s nothing more to be said. All the false accusations that people try to make are simply because there’s no story when things are calm and good.

“But they might as well let it go because their lies don’t affect me anymore. Samantha is not evil, I care for her very much and she’s a wonderful girl.

“She loves me, as I do her.”

Argh, so many words to read. A much better, more concise response would have been “F**k you, dad. I’m going gay.”