Ashlee Simpson’s baby refuses to come out

Ashlee Simpson in the valley

Last week there were rumors that Ashlee was rushed to the hospital because she was finally giving birth. Those rumors were false because she’s still pregnant. Ashlee’s been pregnant since February. It’s almost December now. That kid has been inside of her for almost 10 months.

Jessica Simpson said on The Ellen DeGeneres Show that they may have to induce labor because “it’s already developing really quick.” Ashlee has allegedly tried everything to set off labor including “different foot massages and stuff.”

$10 says the baby already peeked out of her vadge when she was sleeping and saw that big gay wad Pete Wentz sleeping next to her. I wouldn’t want to come out either. God help that kid if it’s a boy. It’ll be the only 5 year old who has to shoo away a cockroach because his dad is too busy standing on a chair shrieking. I bet the baby is trying to figure out how to hang itself with its umbilical chord. Here’s a hint baby: Wrap it around your neck and while Ashlee is walking down Hollywood, jump.

Load more