Benji Madden and Paris Hilton break up

Star Magazine surprisingly beat everybody to the punch by reporting that Benji Madden, the other Good Charlotte, and Paris Hilton broke up and proved that if you throw enough darts blindfolded at a dartboard, you’re bound to hit a bulls-eye. A rep for Paris confirmed the dissolution of their sham relationship to Us.

“Even though they are still in love, they felt it would be better to just be friends.”

And of course, none of this was Paris Hilton’s fault. It was all Benji’s. A source explains:

“Benji was overprotective and controlling. He doesn’t get along with any of her friends,” the source tells Us. “Friends thought Paris had changed since being with Benji and she wants to be herself again.”

Whoa there. Before Benji, Paris Hilton was the town whore who partied 24/7 and didn’t give a s**t about anyone else. After settling down with Benji, she became somewhat respectable and even a little respected. Now she wants to go back to what everyone ridiculed her for? Makes sense, I guess. Why be better when you can stay the same. Aim low and never be disappointed, I say.

The source stresses nothing went on between Paris and Stavros and that the she and Benji were always faithful to each other. The source then whispered, “BJ’s and hand jobs don’t count as cheating, right?”

[Image via Splash News]

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12 years ago

he’s not famous enough for her

12 years ago

Haha. Thank god. If I were Benjiman I would be incredibly “overprotective” because she’s a slut, and he probably couldn’t trust her at all.

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