Benji Madden and Paris Hilton break up

Paris Hilton & Benji Madden @ Premiere of \"REPO! The Genetic Opera\" in Las Vegas

Star Magazine surprisingly beat everybody to the punch by reporting that Benji Madden, the other Good Charlotte, and Paris Hilton broke up and proved that if you throw enough darts blindfolded at a dartboard, you’re bound to hit a bulls-eye. A rep for Paris confirmed the dissolution of their sham relationship to Us.

“Even though they are still in love, they felt it would be better to just be friends.”

And of course, none of this was Paris Hilton’s fault. It was all Benji’s. A source explains:

“Benji was overprotective and controlling. He doesn’t get along with any of her friends,” the source tells Us. “Friends thought Paris had changed since being with Benji and she wants to be herself again.”

Whoa there. Before Benji, Paris Hilton was the town whore who partied 24/7 and didn’t give a shit about anyone else. After settling down with Benji, she became somewhat respectable and even a little respected. Now she wants to go back to what everyone ridiculed her for? Makes sense, I guess. Why be better when you can stay the same. Aim low and never be disappointed, I say.

The source stresses nothing went on between Paris and Stavros and that the she and Benji were always faithful to each other. The source then whispered, “BJ’s and hand jobs don’t count as cheating, right?”

[Image via Splash News]

  • Rev

    I wish people would at least use enough of the cheesy “they let you grab them by the pussy” to remind people he was bragging about the things gold diggers let rich guys do.

  • LegalDementia

    Obama was actually a bigger racist than Trump but the “Nobel Prize Winner” is given a free pass by the liberal media and KoolAid drinking Democrats because he was something new and had to be praised and protected because of his color. His administration was racked with corruption (IRS, State Department, DOJ, FBI, NSA, Benghazi coverup, etc.), race relations deteriorated significantly (Baltimore, Detroit, Chicago, Dallas, Travon Martin, The Beer Summit, Black Lives Matter, Al Sharpton, Jeremiah Wright, etc.) under useless Barry. He gave us Hillary Clinton, hilariously calling her “the most qualified person ever to run for POTUS!” Together they wrecked the Democratic party for years to come and created racial divisions that may never heal. So when an asshole, pseudo-journalist like Erc Karnes calls Trump a racist…you just have to laugh!

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