Madonna has rules

Guy Ritchie reunited with his kids today after Madonna took them away to the America. Of course, Madonna wasn’t about to let them have anything related to fun so she sent over a list of deranged rules that were not to be broken. This included forcing them to drink nothing but Kabbalah water and not allowing them to be photographed with Guy. Which is great because that’s just what happened.

Guy should do the opposite of everything on this list. He should make them drink gallons of soda while they eat a cow. The benefit of doing this is twofold. One, he’ll piss off Madonna. Two, the kids will think he’s the coolest parent and when the judge asks them who they want to live with, they’ll tell Madonna to remove the stick from her ass, take her English Rose book and shove that in there instead.