Britney hates people

Aside from turning 27 and releasing her new album, Britney Spears is also trying to clean up her image. As any good publicist knows, that task begins with anecdotes about how boring you are and how you aren’t erratically shaving your head anymore or attacking paparazzi with an umbrella. Which is what Britney is now doing.

In the January edition of Glamour, Britney claims to not like going out. “I hate clubs. I hate being around too many people. I love my home and staying in bed and watching Dancing With The Stars or reading a Danielle Steel novel. I’m kind of boring,” says Spears.

I can picture it now. Britney at home propped up on the sofa reading her romance novels, audibly sounding out each polysyllabic word as she glances back and forth between a dictionary and her book, stopping every fifteen minutes to take a KFC break and eventually throwing the book down in frustration to go play with Jayden Jame’s See ‘N Say instead.