Jennifer Lopez will announce divorce through song

Jennifer Lopez shops

Instead of letting people find out through leaked documents or leaking the story to the press themselves, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have decided to announce their divorce by singing a farewell duet together at Madison Square Garden right after Valentine’s day.

Jennifer hopes this will cement her status as America’s number one attention whore. It’s an honor that’s remained rather elusive for her for a while now. And if that doesn’t work, then there’s always plan b. A laser light show emanating from her vagina.

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Bill Surman

Trump has dispatched 140 helicopters, 28 ships, 6 Army field hospitals, 3 Navy seabee battalions, 5 US Army Combat Engineer battalions, 3 Civil affairs battalions, 2 nuclear subs capable of generating 2.8 gigawatts of electricity, given 300,000 tons of food, medical supplies and water from military stocks to Puerto Rico. But yea, boo Trump. SMH, Fucking losers.

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