Madonna has a new piece

The sinewy monster that calls herself Madonna may have found a new soul to eat. One that’s even younger than A-Rod. Page Six reports that the gap toothed siren is enjoying herself down in Brazil on her Sticky & Sweet tour. Rumors say Madonna did a photo shoot with a “smoking hot” male model by the name of Jesus Luz. She was so impressed with the guy that she invited him to join her tour in Sao Paolo. A source divulges: “He’s there with her now and [photographer] Steven Klein is helping him get along with everyone.” Page Six continues:

According to the Brazilian Web site, “Everyone knows they are ficando – which is a Portuguese expression that means they are kissing and doing other things but without any obligation of being faithful or getting into a relationship afterwards.”

Madonna’s beleaguered publicist, Liz Rosenberg, denied a report that her tight-fisted client had bought 20 watches (one for each member of her crew) so “they will always arrive on time.” She added, “But I’m still waiting to hear about Jesus.”

There should be no reason why anyone would willingly subject themselves to the advances of Madonna. Unless that person is trying to claw their way out of poverty. Therefore, I take it that Jesus Luz’s only two options are to either screw Madonna in her mansion or go back to his shack and screw a fat, old, hairy dude on camera. Given those two scenarios, I’d go with Madonna as well since there’s less chance of your friends finding a video on the internet.

For those of you interested, here’s a bigger version of that photo of Madonna. She really hides her penis well.