O.J. Simpson sentenced to 15 years in prison

O.J. Simpson

O.J. Simpson was given 15 years in prison for kidnapping and armed robbery of two sports memorabilia dealers in a Palace Station Hotel room in Vegas. He will be eligible for parole in 6 years. During the sentencing, O.J. whined:

“I just wanted my personal things. I was stupid. I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was doing anything illegal. I thought I was confronting friends. I thought I was retrieving my things. I didn’t mean to hurt anybody and I didn’t mean to steal anything.”

Here’s some words of advice for The Juice. One: Where you’re going, apologizing like that is a sign of weakness. You might not want to do that. Two: Remember to relax your ass cheeks before Big Bob shanks your butt with his penis. It’ll hurt a lot less.

  • Brandi

    you would know about big bob

  • It doesn’t happen very often, but sometimes a little bit o’ justice gets served in this world. The views of conspiracy theorists/race-hustlers notwithstanding, O.J. ****in’ murdered his wife in 1994. His ass should’ve been firmly planted in an 8’x8′ jail cell in October 1995, and it should’ve stayed there (or perished in the gas chamber).

    That said, if there’s TRUE justice in this world, O.J.’s murdering, gun-pointing ass will die in prison. I hate to say it, but I’m crossing my fingers that such’ll happen to him. Wait, I don’t hate saying that …

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