ESC

Say hello, say goodbye to Paris Hilton’s new BFF

Paris Hilton & Brittany

Since no one would willingly be Paris Hilton’s BFF, Paris held a contest to find one herself. Turns out there are a lot of sycophants in the world as more than a handful showed up. Auditions were held, casting was done and testing ensued to find the lucky winner deserving of Paris’ friendship for forever and eternity or at least until she gets tired of them in a couple months.

One contestant in particular shined brighter than the rest. Her name is Brittany Flickinger. It’s alright if you can’t remember the name. This will be the second to last time you ever hear of her anyway. The final time being when Paris has a fake fight with Brittany with Brittany claiming she’s carrying Paris’ lovechild and Paris looking at her with one eye cocked and the other eye lazy, claiming that’s impossible and Brittany countering that, okay, the baby thing may not be true, but she does have a wicked case of herpes and then Paris will nod acknowledging that this was more likely and then they’ll go their separate ways with Paris continuing to be Paris and Brittany making one last attempt at fame by flashing her vagina and as all this drama unfolds, Paris’ publicist will be sitting in his ornate chair, tenting his fingers and whispering, “Exxxcellent.”

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  • Rev

    I wish people would at least use enough of the cheesy “they let you grab them by the pussy” to remind people he was bragging about the things gold diggers let rich guys do.

  • LegalDementia

    Obama was actually a bigger racist than Trump but the “Nobel Prize Winner” is given a free pass by the liberal media and KoolAid drinking Democrats because he was something new and had to be praised and protected because of his color. His administration was racked with corruption (IRS, State Department, DOJ, FBI, NSA, Benghazi coverup, etc.), race relations deteriorated significantly (Baltimore, Detroit, Chicago, Dallas, Travon Martin, The Beer Summit, Black Lives Matter, Al Sharpton, Jeremiah Wright, etc.) under useless Barry. He gave us Hillary Clinton, hilariously calling her “the most qualified person ever to run for POTUS!” Together they wrecked the Democratic party for years to come and created racial divisions that may never heal. So when an asshole, pseudo-journalist like Erc Karnes calls Trump a racist…you just have to laugh!

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