I’ll be taking a break from regular posting, but here are some quick hits.
There will be no third Narnia: Disney has decided to sever ties with Walden media effectively ending the Chronicles of Narnia series which it had hoped to be its own Harry Potter. At least until Walden can find someone else to co-finance and co-produce the film. This is a lot like high school when you asked a girl to prom but found out she didn’t put out so you dumped her at the last minute and went with someone uglier, but much sluttier. In this case, you’re Disney and Walden is the first girl. The slutty girl is any animation with a celebrity voiceover.
Watchmen still in trouble: A judge has ruled that Fox owns the rights to the Watchmen which is currently slated for release in March 2009 by Warner Bros. Fox seeks to stop the release of the film. Probably until they’re given a percentage of the profits. In other news, comic book nerds everywhere have fallen to their knees and screamed in agony to the heavens.
Michael Lohan says Lindsay is faking it: Yesterday, Lindsay Lohan blogged about her dad’s infidelity and illegitimate child. Today Michael denied those claims and said that there is a 99% chance that post was written by his arch-nemesis Samantha Ronson. Michael also insisted that the Illuminati were after him. After which he whispered, “Illuminati means minorities, right?”
Kim Kardashian denies it: Kim Kardashian has come to her brother Rob’s defense after the often incoherent Courtney Love made an accusatory post about him. Courtney claimed Rob punched her employee in the nose and shouted homophobic epithets at him. Kim says this never happened and Courtney will be hearing from her attorneys soon. Another thing Courtney will be hearing? The orderly pleading with her to take her meds.
The Rest of the Web, Friday, 4.28.17
Sign Me Up for This Napping Fitness Class
Beyoncé Ordering Food Has Turned into a Meme
Kids Who Want to Waste Thousands of Dollars Studying a Fake ‘Game of Thrones’ Language Are in Luck
Jennifer Lawrence Is Totally Marrying Darren Aronofsky This Summer
Katy Perry’s New Song Empowers Women To Have Food Sex or Something
Ja Rule’s $12,000 Ticket Music Festival Ends in ‘Lord of the Flies’ Nightmare With Kidnapping and Mugging Rumors
Obama’s First Joke About Trump Was Perfect
Rita Ora’s Gonna Regret This Outfit One Day
It’s Kylie Jenner’s Soulless Dead Eyes…And Her Sexy Midriff!
Kendall Jenner Gets Camera Shy Which Is Really Ironic
R. Kelly Sued for Nailing Sheriff Deputy’s Wife and Giving Her Chlamydia