Amy Winehouse is on a rampage

Amy Winehouse & Joshua Bowman

Amy Winehouse is still vacationing in St. Lucia even though staff and guests and pretty much everyone there want her to leave. Even more so after Saturday when Amy was almost charged with assault for throwing a glass of water over a female guest’s head. Amy apologized only when she was told that that doing so would keep the cops from coming. A source said, “She walks around in the same grimy bikini bottoms each day with her boobs on show, gets drunk, gropes waiters and is rude to male staff. She’s hardly the most popular guest.”

Amy’s spokesman responded, “Amy misunderstood a conversation and wrongly believed a slight was made. The matter has been resolved.”

They should force Amy to wear a shock collar. That way when she does anything bad, they can send 100 or however many volts through her. I’m not sure how much is safe for a human. I think a good way to find out is to put it on Amy and start high and go low until she stops frothing at the mouth.