Amy Winehouse is currently on a health vacation at the all-inclusive Le Sport Spa in St. Lucia. It’s going well to say the least. Amy starts her day with yoga stretches and exercise rings, then spends the afternoon drinking on the beach and smoking pot and then at night, devolves into a feral alcoholic pest. She’s sort of like Teen Wolf, but replace the cool basketball skills and animal magnetism with alcoholism. A source tells The Sun:
“We keep catching her crawling past bars, or hiding behind chairs. She grabs guests’ drinks and runs off, like a squirrel with a nut.”
She was spotted creeping up behind one woman, asking for a cigarette and then sprinting away with her cocktail.
I thought The Sun was exaggerating and that the photo they posted of Amy sneaking up behind guests like a thirsty, beehived cat had a logical explanation. Then I figured, it’s Amy Winehouse. If anything, The Sun had to understate the facts because they were afraid people would call them liars.
The Sun should have put up all the photos though. The next one was of one of the waiters chasing Amy away with a broom. The one after that was Amy Winehouse biting his arm and giving him rabies. The last one was Amy running around with her hair on fire after knocking down one of the table candles.