Aniston vs Jolie still going

Egged on by John Mayer, Jennifer Aniston plans to upstage Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt at the Oscars by being a presenter. True, Aniston may not be nominated for an Oscar like Brad and Angelina, but her film Marley and Me dominated the box office so the Academy Awards is the perfect time to rub it in.

If I were a producer for the Oscars, I’d make Aniston talk about the fact that Brad and Angelina’s movies made less than one about a dog and then have the camera pan to Angelina just in time to catch that huge throbbing vein on her forehead. Then I’ll roll out a tub of pudding and make them wrestle in it. But I’ll have Jennifer wear a bag over her head because I don’t like watching ugly people do sexy things.