ESC

Jessica’s weight gain is all part of the plan

Jessica Simpson Chili Cook-off

MSNBC suggests that Jessica Simpson’s recent weight-gain may be all part of a strategic plan to push — probably on one of those little Rascals disabled people like to ride — her back into the spotlight.

A source said, “She’s loving it. It will probably get her back on the covers right when she is a ‘supporting’ act on tour. I bet Joe (Simpson) has already sold the weight-loss story.”

Even though Simpson’s reps say the rumors of Joe shopping around this story are “entirely untrue,” you know Joe is really gung-ho about this plan. Now he has an excuse to have Jessica strip to her bra and panties so he can “weigh” her every day. Jessica probably doesn’t even realize body fat is supposed to be measured with calipers, not with her dad’s bare hands and that the process definitely does not involve her dad disrobing and moaning while he’s doing it.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
16 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
roger
roger
11 years ago

Did she eat Tony Romo? Omg her and that chick behind her should both be pushed back in the ocean.

capt. cornhole
capt. cornhole
11 years ago

She’s probably fattening up in preparation for shitting out some puppies. Before she’s done she’ll look like Aretha Franklin.

katie
katie
11 years ago

yeah to roger and capt. cornhole… i’m sure you both are super fit and slim, because if that was the case, you wouldn’t be blogging from your computers, you’d be at the gym. Jessica isn’t fat, shes hot, with hot curves. you losers wouldn’t stand a chance hooking up with a girl like her, or an normal girl that looks like her, or any woman with a brain for that matter. why don’t you post a picture of yourselfs on this site, then we can see how hot you guys are, you must be in order to be able to… Read more »

capt. cornhole
capt. cornhole
11 years ago
Reply to  katie

I’ll show you my junk if you show me your pooper.
Deal?

Tina
Tina
11 years ago

It’s been my experience that most guys think they’re good looking even when they’re not. In fact, some are downright cheesy. Yeah, Jessica’s gained weight. Who cares? She looks healthier than the skinny rags walking around like they’re the norm. So why don’t you pull your pot bellies off your keyboards and stuff it.

MOOOO
MOOOO
11 years ago

LOOKS LIKE “REAL GIRLS DO EAT MEAT” HUH JESSICA? LOL! LOOKS LIKE SHE ATE A WHOLE COW.

hurely
hurely
11 years ago

Jessica looks normal. Most guys look for stick thin girls and they look like dog s**t themselves. I was watching the Superbowl yesterday and those pants are so tight it was nothing but cellulite showing up in there. I thought those guys worked out; I guess not.

coffee
11 years ago

it’s pretty much impossible for Jessica Simpson to ever look all that bad… she’s Jessica Simpson, after all

Latest
Load more