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Sarah Jessica Parker has had enough

Sarah Jessica Parker NYC Ballet

They tried to make it work for the sake of their 6-year-old son, James Wilkie, but Sarah Jessica Parker has finally had enough of Matthew Broderick cheating with 25-year-old redheads passed out on their beds. This little horsey is moving out. According to Star Magazine, the Sex and the City star has been looking for her own house in NYC and once that’s done, she’ll ask for a divorce. A friend tells the magazine: “The time has come when she realizes it just isn’t worth it. Sarah Jessica is determined to get her own place and bring down the curtain on her marriage.” Another source adds: “They spent the holidays with him [James], pretending to be happy. SJP is a great actress when she has to be!”

Even though Star doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to rumors, this is something I can believe. SJP is so old and witch-like that every Halloween, instead of watching Friday the 13th, I put in Sex in the City on Blu-Ray. Try it. I guarantee that if you didn’t have a erection before, you’re not gonna have one for the next two weeks.

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The scary thing about SJP is that she could give you a perforated colon with her nose and a BJ simultaneously.

Then when she was done with that she’d rub her wart on your ass. AND that’s some worse shit than you’d get from a Tai hooker!

Doctor: We see you colon is perforated, but why is your ass melting off?

Poor Dude: SJP

Doctor: Ah, we’ve seen that before. We’ll just call the morgue.

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