Seraphina Rose Elizabeth Affleck

Everyone has been waiting with baited breath to hear what Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck named their second kid (not really). People bet that it was going to be either lame or stupid. Turns out, Garner and Affleck went with the latter. The new kid’s name is Seraphina Rose Elizabeth Affleck. Which is great. All people should have three first names.

According to one website specializing in names, Seraphina may have been “derived from the Biblical word ‘seraphim,’ which was Hebrew in origina and meant ‘fiery one.'” According to another website, Seraphina may be derived from the Patron Saint of retarded people. And yet another website who knows nothing about names, says it’s derived from that stripper who gave them a handjob last Saturday. By the way, that last website was mine if you couldn’t figure it out.