ESC

Tom Cruise had a dream

Out promoting his film Valkyrie in Korea, Tom Cruise told the press that he’s hated Hitler since childhood. FOX News reports:

“I always wanted to kill Hitler, I hated him,” Cruise, 46, said. “As a child studying history and looking at documents, I wondered, ‘why didn’t someone stand up and try to stop it?’ When I read the script, it was entertaining and informative to know what the challenges were and what it was like to be in the environment.”

While all the other kids imagined what it’d be like to plow Brooke Shields, Tom dreamed about assassinating Hitler. Sounds like a normal childhood to me. One which could lead to repressed homosexuality and masochistic fantasies involving Adolph and Japanese tentacle rape.

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Eripedes
Eripedes
15 years ago

How many tentacle rape references is that now??? Is there something wrong with me if that turns me on?

capt. cornhole
capt. cornhole
15 years ago

Tommy Girl never thought about Hitler….he was too busy jerking off to Capt. Kangaroo and Mr. Green Jeans and thinking that if he re-shaped Gumby he could make a dildo out of him.

ZZ
ZZ
15 years ago

“I always hated Hitler”. Wow, THERE’S a bold position on a controversial subject. Way to ride the bleeding edge of ethical discourse there, Tommy boy.

Dude
Dude
15 years ago

If he was ethical he wouldn’t be portraying the Valkyrie plotters as heroes.
They thought Hitler was a liability and wanted to take him out so they could win the war. They didn’t like him but were completely behind what he had done. Had they succeeded the Nazis might have won WW2

Tammy
Tammy
15 years ago

How profound Tom! You really have a great deal of depth to your character.