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Beggars can’t be choosers

Mickey Rourke gets it to-go
Mickey Rourke gets it to-go

The London Mirror reported that Mickey Rourke and Courtney Love were dating. The two seemed an obvious match at the time because they’re both bat-shit crazy and both look like someone confused their faces with a baseball.

Mickey put that rumor to bed today. INF via TMZ asked him if there was any truth to those reports. The always tactful Rourke said, “I’d rather be on a deserted island with a gorilla.” Gorillas everywhere were said to be not amused.

Expect a furious Courtney Love to pen a long missive on MySpace in all caps which will make absolutely no sense. By the end of her post, she’ll be talking about Jane Goodall and chimps stealing blood diamonds. Boggling everyone else’s mind, Courtney will think she just typed the greatest comeback ever and will proudly send her gobbledygook out as a press release. In 3… 2… 1…

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Capt. Cornhole

He’s a fag and let me count the ways

The retro Johnny Depp glasses
The white silk scarf
The closed fingered limp wrist wave
The navy blue belt
The faggy blue jacket
The WTF color hair
The dog speaks for itself
BUT WTF is up with the parka for the dog.

He may not be gay.

But he’s 110% faggot.

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