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Britney files restraining orders against two former friends

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Two of Britney’s enablers from her past have been slapped with restraining orders. Adnan Ghalib, the paparazzi who Britney fooled around with, was served while at home half-naked with his estranged wife. Britney’s former side-kick Sam Lufti and attorney Jon Eardly were served on Friday. The restraining order claimed they were “attempting to undermine her conservatorship.”

This is all well and good, but when is Britney’s camp going to file restraining orders against Chester Cheetah and The Pillsbury Dough Boy; the real culprits responsible for her fat years (that’s what this is all about, right?). Curse you, you lovable junk food mascots. You won’t get away with this.

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Lucifer

That’s right honey, blame everyone except yourself! “Britney and Lilu joined at the crotch…(uh…what rhymes with crotch?)”

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