Mickey Rourke regrets everything

Mickey Rourke gets it to-go

Mickey Rourke admits that he regrets the doctor he chose to fix his face after his abysmal career in pro boxing. Rourke says most of the stuff the plastic surgeon worked on were from injuries suffered inside the ring.

Rourke had his nose broken twice resulting in five operations on it and another for a smashed cheekbone. While grueling and painful, he says they were nothing compared to hemorrhoids. The ones on his ass, not his face.

“I had to have cartilage taken from my ear to rebuild my nose and a couple of operations to scrape out the cartilage because the scar tissue wasn’t healing properly. That was one of the most painful operations, but the worst was hemorrhoids.”

Yea, really. This is gross. I get chills just hearing about Rourke making out with people. Hearing about his hemorrhoid problem is going to make me vomit. Some poor, innocent girl is going to see that one day and wonder why there’s a volcano attached to his ass. It’d probably take two days just to hike up that thing.

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