Sylvester Stallone is a menace

Sylvester Stallone, driving a “totally pimped, all-black VW Phaeton,” narrowly avoided hitting a man crossing the street. But no harm was done and no feelings were hurt because both were at fault. Stallone was on his cell and the guy couldn’t hear a car barreling towards him through his headphones. Stallone and the guy even shared a “moment” and a fist bump. Page Six reports:

“The car skidded into the crosswalk, stopping just short of my buddy, who dove to the ground,” our source continued. “When he looked up, he saw a guy wearing a shocked expression, in red leather bomber-type jacket, gripping the wheel with one hand as the other held his cell against his ear.

“Like the hot-headed New Yorker he is, my buddy started yelling, ‘Are you [bleep]ing kidding me?’

“Then he realized it was Sly. He told me, ‘How was I gonna yell at Stallone? I mean, I love the guy since I was a kid. It’d be almost an honor to say Rocky knocked me out at a Beverly Hills crosswalk.’ ”

The muscle-bound action hero “couldn’t have been more of a gentleman. He jumped out immediately to see if my friend was all right. But he couldn’t hear Sly’s concern because he was still wearing his earphones,” our source continued.

“This prompted Sly, with a smile, to twirl his index finger next to his temple to indicate maybe he was crazy to cross deafened by music. My pal immediately pointed at Sly’s cell, still in his hand. They each looked at their devices and then both of them broke out laughing, realizing all parties were guilty as charged.

“Sly extended a hand, pulled my buddy up, and asked, ‘You all right?’ When my friend assured him he was, Sly offered, ‘You sure, you need a ride or anything? Can I give you a lift?’ My friend politely declined. They fist-bumped, then with a smile, Sly showed him he was sticking his cell in his jacket before jumping back into his VW.”

Tell me. Did Stallone whip out a pack of Mentos, pop one in his mouth and wink after they both realized neither of them were concentrating on what they should be doing? Because that would make for a great commercial. It would go well with the other one I had in mind where one skydiver turns another skydiver’s parachute into a novelty can of worms and right before the guy hits the ground, the other skydiver pops a Mentos, smiles and gives the thumbs up. It’s part one of five in my series of “Things I Want To Do To Paris, Illustrated in 60 Second Ad Spots.”