Victoria’s Secret model Doutzen Kroes hit the beach the other day and looked like she was about to hump her boyfriend in the ocean. That is her boyfriend, right? Because I think I can take him. Beating him up is the first step in wooing Doutzen away from him. Also, he might be gay. It looks like he’s checking out another guy’s package in this pic. Yep, this is going to be easier than I thought. His sculpted body will be no match for the fighting skills I learned from Billy Banks. I just have to make sure not to fall in love with those piercing eyes and chiseled abs.
The Rest of the Web, Friday, 4.28.17
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