Josh Hartnett was hospitalized

Celebrities are such big babies that if they ever have so much as a hangnail, they check into the hospital. Take Josh Hartnett for example. He was rushed to the hospital at 1:30 AM Sunday morning after complaining of severe stomach pains. These are the same stomach pains that he had in the London play Rain Man back in November. Hartnett called his publicist at 2 AM tell him he’s fine.

The doctors probably told him it was just gas. To which Hartnett replied, “No man. It feels like I’m giving birth. Like there’s a baby about to come out. Oh god, I’m not pregnant am I? Please tell me I’m not. I really can’t get pregnant right now!”

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Yeah, ingesting hordes of coke will do that to you. That, or semen, either or. But, Josh’s last name isn’t Jonas, so I’m willing to bet it was just coke.

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