Rihanna is protected

You have the right to remain sexy. Rawr.

If anybody wants to mess with Rihanna again, they’ll have to get past her blonde, female bodyguard. She’s 5’6”, 110lbs and filled with pure, unadulterated violence. Rihanna and her one woman wrecking crew were spotted at Nobu on Wednesday where Rihanna was supposedly flirting with Brody Jenner.

“She was there having dinner. Her blond, female security guard was there the whole time,” said our spy. “Every time Rihanna would go to the bathroom, the guard would go with her. Every time someone came to the table, the bodyguard would stand up. She was like a female James Bond.”

Now, the only way to get past Rihanna’s bodyguard is with sheer brute force able to be mustered by any 8th grader or telling her that there’s this really sweet sale on Rodeo drive. Chris Brown is gonna get his ass kicked.

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15 years ago

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