Jessica Simpson hit up Beso yesterday when a daring paparazzi made it look like he was sliding into home as he snapped these shots of Jessica’s ass. That’s what I imagine happened, anyway. How is this possible? You’d think people would notice some perv with a camera the size of a Buick going off under Jessica’s skirt. They looked to be so close that the flash would have lit up the inside of her vagina like a Christmas tree. With the size of the lens the guy probably had and based on how close he was, if he zoomed in, you could make a detailed mapping of Jessica’s uterus.
I was also informed that we may have nipple.