John Mayer has moved on

John Mayer finally ran out of stories about Jennifer Aniston to feed the press with. Consequently, he’s moved onto greener, younger, less saggy pastures. Mayer is said to be dating Scheana Marie Jancan, an aspiring actress and someone who’d probably love to use John Mayer the same way John Mayer used Jennifer Aniston thus continuing the chain of fame leeching.

Currently, Scheana, 24 in May, works at The Grand Havana Room. She was serving drinks when John’s penis honed in on her like a scud missile.

“Scheana was shocked and thrilled when John asked her out,” a source tells Star. “She has always thought he was hot, and she said yes right away, writing down her cell phone number on a napkin. They flirted the whole time, and he told her she was cute.”

The gorgeous brunette, who has modeled for Ed Hardy and Doritos and was a runner-up in a Hawaiian Tropic Pageant, has been hanging out with the singer at his rented home in Calabasas, Calif.

I’m sure girls must be real thrilled when this lumbering cro-magnon asks them out. I can only imagine the conversation goes something like: “Me John. You pretty. Hur hur hur. You come with me,” and ends with him dragging the girl off to his Mayer cave.

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15 years ago

Hur hur hur. Ha ha ha!

jim buckley
jim buckley
15 years ago

I am confused – with all the copy on john mayer don’t you know he is gay ?