I think John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are broken up. Truthfully, I haven’t been following this. She’s ugly and he’s annoying so why would I? Anyway, judging by this new report by the National Enquirer, I think they’re broken up for good.
NE says that John Mayer can’t stop talking about Jennifer. Most likely because he thinks dropping her name makes him famous by association and acts as catnip for the ladies even though it actually makes him a douche bag.
“John’s been recording in a studio and coming on to almost every woman in the vicinity,” a close source told The ENQUIRER.
“He goes on and on to these women about how clingy and needy Jen is. He says that when they got back together after their first breakup last August, it was agreed she would back off on the smothering.
“When someone tries to change the subject, he goes back to Jennifer, claiming she was so emotionally dependent and demanding that he couldn’t take it.”
What a catch. Complaining about your ex really turns women on. Other things that turn women on: telling them they’re fat, pushing them into a puddle and asking them to make you a sandwich. I found these out as I thumbed through John Mayer’s book titled “Things That Turn Women On According to the Delusional Mind of John Mayer.”
The Rest of the Web, Friday, 4.28.17
Sign Me Up for This Napping Fitness Class
Beyoncé Ordering Food Has Turned into a Meme
Kids Who Want to Waste Thousands of Dollars Studying a Fake ‘Game of Thrones’ Language Are in Luck
Jennifer Lawrence Is Totally Marrying Darren Aronofsky This Summer
Katy Perry’s New Song Empowers Women To Have Food Sex or Something
Ja Rule’s $12,000 Ticket Music Festival Ends in ‘Lord of the Flies’ Nightmare With Kidnapping and Mugging Rumors
Obama’s First Joke About Trump Was Perfect
Rita Ora’s Gonna Regret This Outfit One Day
It’s Kylie Jenner’s Soulless Dead Eyes…And Her Sexy Midriff!
Kendall Jenner Gets Camera Shy Which Is Really Ironic
R. Kelly Sued for Nailing Sheriff Deputy’s Wife and Giving Her Chlamydia