Most likely due to government sanctions, Octomom Nadya Suleman is having half her uterus removed making her effectively barren. The cover story doctors are using is that they found “benign fibroids growing in her uterus” which they told her may be pre-cancerous cells. Yes, pre-cancerous cells. That’s a good one. Wink wink. Thank you, doctors. America owes you a huge debt of gratitude.
“I’m terrified,” she said. “I’m really, really, really nervous. And I have to do a will. I have to get a will done just in case.”
Should anything fatal happen during surgery, an unnamed “Christian couple” will raise her 14 kids. She’ll spend about a week recovering after which she may resume being a burden on taxpayers.
The Rest of the Web, Monday, 4.24.17
Former Spice Girl Seduced 18-Year-Old Nanny
McDonald’s New Uniforms Are Perfect for the Dystopian Society We Live In
Hot New Beauty Hack: Bounce Your Boyfriend’s Balls On Your Face
What Trump Sounds Like Trying to Form Intelligible Words
Amber Heard One Step Closer to Billions of Dollars
Amanda Bynes Returns to Twitter with One Very, Non-Crazy Tweet
Cory Booker Still Waiting for That Mindy Kaling Date
Ariel Winter Doesn’t Disapoint in This Dress
Kylie Jenner’s Tight Dress Can’t Stop Protesters From Protesting Her
Your Prayers Have Been Answered, Ed Sheeran Might Quit Music
Vin Diesel Says He’d Whoop The Rock