Jessica Biel is too beautiful to be hired

Jessica Biel isn’t a great actress by any stretch of the imagination, but don’t tell her that. She’s under the impression that it’s her beauty that’s keeping her from landing those juicy film roles. She tells the June issue of Allure via Us:

“Yeah, it really is a problem. I have to be blunt.”

“I’m in there with everybody else, fighting for the good parts. Yes, The Illusionist has made a difference — but a huge, massive difference, so I can pick and choose what I want? No.”

“I just want an opportunity. If you don’t like the audition, don’t hire me! But if you don’t want to even see me — that’s hurtful. And why? You know nothing about me!”

Maybe the real problem is those linebacker shoulders Biel somehow managed to to sculpt in the last four years. Casting agents find that intimidating. They want you to get the part by banging you on a dirty couch. They don’t want you to get the part by you threatening to punch their testicles so hard into their body that they’ll be tasting them for the next month.

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Flemish Blemish Fan
Flemish Blemish Fan
14 years ago

“Oh poor me, I’m too beautiful to get what I want…” What a fucking bitch. Maybe we’ll all get lucky and she can be hit in the face with a bus. I dont want her to be killed, just disfigured. It would be a nice change of pace for her and then she can finally get to pick and choose her roles.

Fucking celebrity egos.

14 years ago

Love her. I’d run over Timba with my car to have a night with her.

14 years ago

what she’s not beautiful,

and how come the girls that ARE REALLY PRETTY get the good roles, maybe bacause ” THEY CAN ACT !