john mayer out

The public has added another example of John Mayer’s douchebaggery to their growing file. Mayer tells Twitter, the only one who will listen at this point, that he’s amazed at how people hate him for dating their fantasy girl. Wow. Somewhere Jennifer Aniston’s face just lit up. “I’m a fantasy girl?,” she said out loud to herself. No, no you’re not. Mayer just said that to make himself feel better. Mayer continued:

“Let’s hammer this out today. Long before “douches” and “famewhores” there were these people called “showbiz types.””

“”Showbiz types” are people who grew up talking to themselves alone in a room for hours until they found some sort of outlet.”

“Once they found that outlet, everything fell into place, except for the fact that they still never worked out why they still talk so much.”

“So you see, though filled with deep emotional voids that can never be filled, Showbiz Types are an important part of our Nation’s tapestry.”

“I’m a Showbiz Type. (cue penny whistle and marching drums) But I am not a douche!! (of 1,090,466, seventeen stand and applaud wildly)”

Whatever, d-bag. Saying it won’t make it true. I can say this Hershey’s bar is a stack of $100 bills, but that doesn’t mean I’m delusional enough to go buy a car with it.

[Image: Splash News]

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