Madonna and Jesus to marry in a kabbalah ceremony

Young people are so easy to trick. All you need for them to bend to your will is to have something they want like power and fame or candy. Madonna has the former so it was only a matter of time before she was able to trick her new boyfriend Jesus Luz into a fake marriage and convert into Judaism. Luis Heitor Pinto da Luz, Jesus’ father, told Quem magazine:

“The kabbalah ceremony [in New York that] will link up my son Jesus Luz and Madonna only confirms that he is extremely happy.”

“I don’t know if there will, in fact, be a real marriage between Madonna and my son. It will be a type of ritual, but I do not know kabbalah [or if the ceremony] will have legal validity,” says Luis, who doesn’t seem upset that his evangelically raised son, a model, is converting to the branch of Judaism.

Sounds about right. Madonna’s adoption fell through so she needs to find some other child to suck the soul from. It’s how Madonna maintains her youthful appearance. If she doesn’t do this, she’ll look like a gnarled oak tree. More so than she does now.