Paris Hilton was thrown off a boat

Paris Hilton and boyfriend Doug Reinhardt — starting out a story like that never bodes well — were invited to a yacht party by a guy named David Furnish, Elton John’s husband.

As soon as they arrived, they started mouth fucking in front of everyone. The collective retching only stopped when Paris and Dough made their way below deck to start the real show. Thankfully, David caught and stopped them as they were about to close the door.

The captain also found out and kicked their asses off the boat for “unsociable behavior.” The two left to what I assume was thunderous applause.

Someone give the captain a medal. Next time though, throw them overboard. With the amount of rocks in their heads, they’ll hopefully sink to the bottom of the ocean.