Shawn Johnson DWTS erection

If you haven’t heard by now, Olympic gold medalist Shawn Johnson won Dancing with the Stars last night, but besides that, she made off with a fat wad of cash. A wad worth $365,000 which is $364,995 more than my wad is worth if recent estimates given by that uppity sperm bank nurse are to be believed.

According to Johnson’s contract, she earned $125,000 up front with “incremental paychecks that topped off at $50,000 a week for the last two episodes.” And all she had to do was learn a few dance moves. Something I could have done just as easily. My stuffed animals tell me I’m a fantastic dancer.