Hilary Duff does the bikini thing

It’s about time Hilary Duff did something interesting. The last time I remember seeing her was when she was stuffing a scorpion down her pants in that horrible movie War Inc. I thought Hollywood took her out back and shot her after that. Apparently not because there were a few stories here and there about her. She’s also been seen wandering the streets like much of the unemployed in Hollywood tend to do. Other than that, no regular person knows who she is anymore. If you went up to a random person in the street and asked about Hilary Duff, they’d stammer, “Hi-hi-hil-hilary?” It’d sound like they were learning to speak for the first time.