Megan Fox is single

Good news. My fantasies are starting to become reality. Those visits to the shaman are finally paying off.

Megan Fox told The Sun that she dumped her fiance Brian Austin Green. Again. But supposedly for real this time. In Berlin promoting Transfomers: Revenge of the Fallen, Fox said, “I’m currently what you would call single I guess.”

Asked who she wanted to eff next, she said: “Oh I don’t know. There is this Korean JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE named RAIN and I’m really on his situation now. I’m trying to fix this up. I’m working hard.”

I hope she wasn’t joking about being single. That’d be pretty mean of her. I don’t like it when she teases me like that. What you got to do that for, baby? Plus, I already sent her a “Congrats on your break-up. Want to have sex?” cake. It’s made of chocolate and Rohypnol.

Anyway, she looked gorgeous at the Berlin premiere of Transformers. It was almost enough to make you forget about the creepy toe-thumbs. If there’s one good thing about breaking up with Megan Fox, it’s that you won’t feel like you’re being jacked off by a three-toed sloth anymore.

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14 years ago