WTRF has a classy webpage with scrolling marquees for headlines. For a second, I felt like I was back browsing Geocities pages.
Anyway, WTRF reports that Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick’s surrogate gave birth to twin girls on Monday night. Parker and Broderick are expected to make an announcement before leaving the hospital.
No word on if there were complications during the birth or whether the babies came out as humans or foals. Expect to find out soon. Although, don’t expect to hear any wacky names. Parker and Broderick are boring. They’ll probably name them Jill and Sally. Why can’t celebrities ever pick cool names. If it were me, I’d call them a roman numeral like XXCVC or an unpronounceable word with no vowels like XyyXyWF. I’d like to confuse the hell out of their teachers.
Emily Ratajkowski and Her Sports Bra Hit the Streets
This Isn’t Aaron Hernandez’s Gay Lover, Just His Really Close Friend, Says the Guy’s Attorney
Kate Beckinsale in Thigh High Boots, What More Do You Want?
Here’s Al Pacino With His 38-Year-Old Girlfriend
Scarlett Johansson Wants to Party With Her Doppelganger Grandma
You Can Get Dragon Frappuccinos Instead of Unicorn Frappuccinos Now If You Really Hate Yourself
The Rest of the Web, Wednesday, 4.26.17
Heineken Just Out-Pepsi’d Pepsi
Aaron Hernandez Leaves Gay Prison Lover Without Explanation for Suicide
Kourtney Kardashian Posted a Bunch of Butt Shots Online
The Pope Has to Root for Michigan Football After Getting These Jordans
Waste Your Time Today Looking For A Snake