ESC

Hayden Panettiere is almost see-through

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Hayden Panettiere showed up for David Letterman dressed in a lacy black dress which was pretty awesome. She may be small and stumpy like a troll and oscillate between hot and hot fug, but at least she knows how to dress for events.

Not like me. I dress in suits made of bacon for fancy nights out at the club. The bouncers don’t usually let me in and people laugh at me, but when they leave at 4 AM hungry and I’m there sitting on the curb pathetically eating my bacon suit, we’ll see who’s laughing then.

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